Thursday, April 29, 2010

Crashing Down

So on my last post I was excited about the new job, however they backed out due to this new AZ law and how it is affecting business. Back to the hunt.

As a fun thing my MIL took me to a Mary Kay party as my niece is starting that and it was for a free facial. It was a lot of fun other than being overly sensitive and breaking out half way through the facial.

Back to the Grind

Friday, April 23, 2010

New House - New job - New Life

So I have to admit this last month has been crazy. In fact this last 2 weeks have been insane.

House -

2 weeks ago my Landlord turned up at the house to tell me that with some money issues he was putting the house for sale. The impression I got was he was being foreclosed - so I started looking for a house - within 2 days he was texting, calling and emailing to when I would have the house ready to be shown. Wednesday at midnight he emailed to tell me the Realtor was coming on Tuesday. Heck I just had a baby, the house was the last thing on my mind, I had told him I needed at least a week to get things together not 5 days. His calls then became abusive, if I didn't answer he would call repetitively till I did, started calling at 11.30pm. The reasons behind not answering were things like - I was driving, feeding the baby etc. During our lease he was decent to us and being the people we are we fixed problems without bothering him and added to the value of his house. Luckily we found a cute house with pool and pool service that's closer to the family and to DH's work

New Job -

So DH has been miserable at work for a while, let me fill you in on some of the things.

At 39 weeks the Xavier wasn't moving so we went to the hospital. DH arranged coverage at work. An hour after he was due to be at work he gets abuse about not having his priorities straight and he should be at the store not at the hospital. After that's what Drs. are for so you dont have to be there right.

The day Xavier was born by emergency C-section his DM wanted to know about what was happening at the store and could he swing by - he said he was with his wife and then was a work at 8am the next morning. He stayed at the hospital, went home to shower and then went to work. This is the guy who doesn't like people wanting to be at hospital when he can take time off to pick up a bike.

DH emailed a little message to admins and management with an update, we got some nice responses except the DM - Congrats on the child after a list of what went wrong when he wasn't there.

They admitted they had not trained him fully so gave a clean slate after he caught a thief and dealt with a lazy manager. Next day he gets an email starting with I know you get a clean slate but.

DH was supposed to get medical in Jan, lots of calls and emails he finally gets the application in March with no coverage details and no rates. He emails to ask and gets no response. Now my DH is a very big guy and we think they thought it would raise their premiums so were avoiding adding him.

New DM comes to visit and tells associates not to listen to him as the DM will be the new manager. When DH confronts on this he denies.

Also they do an inventory and they are off 20 phones up and 20 down by the wrong color. DH checks, an associate had rang up 20 grey instead of 20 red an hour before. DH gets written up for poor inventory even though it had just happened and was not his fault.

DM overhears an upset associate speaking with DH as his GF had been for her annual check and they had found uterine growths. Associate was worried could it be cancer etc. DM butts his head in and what does he say, not I'm sorry or I hope things turn out, He says 'Yep it was messed up last time I was down there". Result involve HR and DM apologizes to associate and DH overhears him telling corporate that he has swept it under the rug.

Dm then tells another associate that he is worthless and will amount to nothing in front of customers and that his life is not worth living. Associate rips DM a new one, associate gets fired.

DM then leaves DH with no keyholder saying sacrifices need to be made, we knew the writing was on the wall but DH had to be there open to close every day. Sure enough DM comes back and fires DH for the inventory issue the associate had caused 3 weeks earlier. That associate then became a keyholder even though they are clearly not capable as 90% of mistakes DH had to fix on a daily basis were caused by him. Not by abilities did he get this but of how far can he stick his nose.

After this we are hearing stories of how the DM is bad mouthing DH and has one associate agreeing, the worst part is we knew this guy was a snake 2 months back as the DM has refused to let him be written up for costing the company lots of money.

2 days later a dealer who bought from the company has asked DH to manage their stores as they liked what he did and they have decided to revoke their account as the DM was rude to them. Its one of the stores biggest accounts. On top of that the store has been instructed that if a customer wants more than 5 minutes they have to charge them $10 or tell them they are wasting their time. We are so happy to be out of that and with a company that is polite and respectful plus a little extra cash never hurt.

SO new baby, new house, new job all equals new life hopefully with less stress

Monday, April 12, 2010

2 Month check up

Well today Xavier had a two month check up plus his first 2 shots. The majority of the appointment went well. His head is 16 1/2 inches around, 23 and 3/4inches long which in my head translates to 2 foot tall. He also weighs in at 14lbs 6.5oz and is at 95 percentile. He is a big boy. Now the shots caused screaming and tears and my heart broke for my little boy. In other news we are in a frantic rush to get packed and out of the house. The landlord of this house called last night and was very rude saying that by us not paying for everything he wants done to the house and showing the house to people wanting to buy it we are disrespecting him. Now him calling 5 times in as many minutes, thats not disrespectful at all.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Drama about a home!

So I have been living in this house for 2 years and my Landlord shows up and tells me that he is putting the house on the market and can I get it ready for sale. At this point I'm like Ok, I'll clean up my new momma messes ie bottles lined up, baby clothes on the table being sorted etc.

2 days later I get an email demanding it be ready to be shown, now this email comes at midnight and at 8 am he calls my cell and house phone wanting updates. He is calling every day and being a general pain. What gets me is he texts and then calls anyway.

Well my DH answered and the landlord was pretty rude to him, apparently we are to pay him rent each month even though we may not be here the whole month plus he wont pay our deposit back as when he sells it will probably break our lease. So guess what...enough is enough. We went looking and found the cutest house a block away from the MIL. Its a little more each month however it comes with a washer and dryer (we are currently renting them) and is closer to DH's work so between gas and rental we save $150 per month. The extra pluses is that it has a swamp cooler, a huge plus in AZ for saving on summer electric costs, the water is heated with gas, again saving. The big luxury plus is that the rent includes the pool and service. So we get someone coming and cleaning the pool for us. Perfect for the 100 degree weather that is around the corner. Now to tell the landlord!

Busy weekend

This weekend Xavier got to see his grandpa at 7 weeks old, not because Grandpa came and saw him but because I conveniently stopped at his work. PS this is the first time I met DH's Dad as well, he missed the wedding, baby shower, birth and blessing because of a multitude of excuses.

I just told him I wanted his Grandson to meet him before Xavier could run away.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Friday, April 2, 2010

Busy Bee!

So enough is enough, personally I think I may have had a bit of the baby blues and now my head is switching on, plus the fine from the HOA for weeds in the front yard because it just stormed and yes they jump up with a teaspoon of rain in AZ I decided to get off my backside and start cleaning and no the MIL volunteering to help clean out the garage so I can put my car back in had nothing to do with it. Hmmm I dont think I believe that so maybe you shouldnt either.

Well it gave me a couple of things, one help with the baby because Grandma loves to cuddle him, 2 got rid of 2 truckloads to Goodwill so I feel very charitable and good natured, lets forget it will help come tax season next year. Talking of taxes we still need to finish ours.

We also put away everything pregnancy as I don't need my maternity clothes anymore as well as all his under 3 month sized clothing, such as big beautiful boy!

We filled both the recycle and the regular trash can and I feel great about it, even to the point the dishes are now caught up to as well as I'm back to my blog.

The baby blues have been tough, I think as the birth was so far away from the plan I felt as if it was my fault and so when ever he has slept TV and the computer have been my friend. Plus with the stress of DH's job its been so easy for me to be lazy and not want to do anything. But now I have lost all 7lbs of baby weight plus an additional 30lbs, the goal is to get down another 20lbs and start doing the things I need to do around the house. I would love it if I could just be a stepford wife, but thats so not practical, the perfect house, fully dressed spotless baby and enough time to have full hair and makeup done. Yeah Right! lol

Xavier Birth pt2 - the milestones of 6 weeks

I promise that this is not going to be so long, but after reading the last post I realized I hadn't put down his stats.

At birth

9lb 11.5oz 19 3/4inches long


9lb 2oz

Plus his lungs were all clear with zero infection

6 day appointment with his pediatrician

9lb 8oz 20 3/4inches long

1 month with Pediatrician

10lb 9oz and 21 1/2inches long

6 week with midwife

13lbs and 3oz

So as far as milestones:

He held his held up on day 1.

He rolled over at 5days old and even though that's young I have to keep telling myself that physically he is 2 weeks older as he was born at 42weeks.
At this point he started to refuse to sleep on his back and the pediatrician said if he does it himself he's ready just keep an eye on him. Luckily my Mum bought one of the nanny monitors. Its a monitor that goes under the sheet and if the baby doesn't move or breath in a 30 second time frame it sets off an alarm.

1 week 5days rolled himself 4 feet along the couch and off while we were sleeping, we put a bean bag there just in case.

2 weeks was pushing his shoulders off the floor

3 weeks old he commando crawled for an inch. Yes an inch is very important to me and this is one time I will measure inches :)

3weeks 2days - he will have a full conversation with you, no not words but squeaks, grunts and coos, he will say what he wants and wait for your response in return with respond back.

3 weeks 5 days - he's controlling his head to look around, his Daddy came home from work and he started looking for where the voice was coming from.

3 weeks 6days - he's eying our food and we were eating McDonald's so I thought what harm would it be to let him hold a french fry. Straight in the mouth and trying to suck on it/ chomp, he didn't really like the taste though.

4 weeks the smiles stopped being the thank goodness I farted/burped to look its Mom or look its Daddy. Only problem is every time I try and take a picture he looks at the camera and wonders what it is and smile goes bye bye

4 weeks 2 days - loves to push up on his legs, plus kick momma when he's feeding, have to put a stop to that.

4weeks 3 days - he started giving kisses, rather he opens his mouth and lands it on you with a squeak. Very cute

4weeks 4 days - I have been measuring the breast milk and formula he is up to 32oz a day so Mum suggested rice cereal, he loves it, sucks it straight off the spoon

4weeks 5days - he's copying the dogs, they come up to him and he sticks his tongue out, we don't let them lick his face but I don't agree with not letting them touch/kiss him under control. I was brought up with a doggie body guard called Sheba and it hasn't hurt me any. Only thing it did was upset my parents as my first word was 'Beba', my brother was worse he was calling for me first!

5 Weeks 1 day - This might be a problem, I think he thinks his Grandma Lesley is a phone as he kissed the phone complete with smacking noises talking to her. Shes in England and will be coming over for 3 weeks at Christmas if everything goes to plan.

5 weeks 3 days - Three inches, yet he commando crawled that long.

5 weeks 4 days - he rocks when his knees are under his tummy, today he pushed himself up into crawling position, it lasted less than a couple of seconds but soooo cute.

5 Weeks 6days - Its just Grandma he thinks is a phone, he spoke with his Daddy on the phone and started looking around the room for him.

6weeks 1 day - Daddy asked where Momma was and he looked at me, maybe co-incidence but I don't want to believe that.

6 Weeks 2 days - He opens his mouth when he sees the cereal. He loves it!

6 Weeks 4 days - I was waiting for him to open his mouth for the cereal when he leaned towards the spoon, he really likes this plus the milk/formula consumption is down to 24oz a day.

6 Weeks 5 days - he has started to yell for me instead of crying, if he wakes up and doesnt see me straight away he yells and then waits. He also yells at you if you are holding him wrong ie against your shoulder when he wants to sit. He is very opinionated.

7 weeks 1 day - his hair is turning red like Mommas and his eyes are sapphire blue like Daddies. This is going to be one cute little boy, even if I do say so myself.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Xavier's Birth Story - Very Long

So since the last time I posted about our little boy he was in his Momma's tummy waiting his arrival. The last few months have been very stressful.

On December 29th I went into labor and after 4 hours of monitoring and them deciding that it was labor at 35weeks and 6 days they stopped my labor at 11.45 pm because I wasn't 36 weeks yet. I know they could have given me 15 minutes and everything would have changed.

My due date came and went with another bout of labor which was 36 hours of contractions 2-3 minutes apart that did nothing and at my 42 week appointment we said enough is enough.

My heart rate was elevated as well as the babies so the midwife gave us cotton root bark to take. Yes I had a midwife and was planning a natural home birth. I hate doctors with good reason and I'll tell you why another post. We went home and researched the cotton root bark as one thing the midwife had said had scared the living daylights out of us. She told us that this herb is what the slaves used to take to cause abortions. WOW, I have a beautiful baby inside and this is the herb they give me. Fear over took me!

Feb 11 2010
The next morning we called her and asked to go to L&D instead. At this point I was big and uncomfortable, see above! We went to L&D and the first thing they do is a NST where they hooked me up and monitored Xavier's heartbeat and movements and then did a BPP ultrasound as they were worried that he wasn't moving like he should. In that ultrasound they also put him at 10lb 13oz.

The atmosphere changed after that, instead of the nurses being excited and enthusiastic they started telling me, your plans are going to have to change and then I met the Dr.

This Dr. told me that I was carrying a very big baby and after all we had guessed that from day 1 as DH and his siblings were all above 9lbs, his brother was actually longer than the incubator when he was born and is 6'5" today. So our response was okay, the ultrasound can be off as much as 1 to 2 lbs and the Dr agreed but as in the baby could be 13 lbs and not 9. The next words out of the Dr.s mouth stunned and shocked us.

"you have to have a c-section otherwise best case scenario your baby is brain dead, more likely scenario your baby will die"

He left us for a couple of minutes to make our decision in which time a nurse came in and re-emphasized the Dr's sentiments with the added comments of well if you want to be good parents and care about your baby you'll do as the Dr says.

So after a few minutes we signed the consent forms and they took us to a delivery room where they took blood and had Jamie suit up for being in the OR. I will be honest it was all a blur, I had just been told to do whatever they say or I would be responsible for killing my baby(one nurse told us that not consenting is tantamount to child neglect and CPS could be called). Within two hours my MIL was there, 2 elders from the church had come and given me a blessing and I was walking to the OR.

I was still crying, I felt responsible for what they were saying and felt that I could have killed my own baby. I was raw and emotional. It didn't make it easier that I was yelled at for flinching when they tried to do the spinal. It hurt!

Fast forward to 15.49 and Xavier was born, I heard a Dr. saying 'Its a toddler' and to be honest it was the first chuckle I had all day and then I heard him screaming, he had a set of lungs on him. They called Jamie over to look and 'trim' the cord, but at the same time I could hear them saying he's not breathing right, heck he's too busy screaming to breath I was thinking.

A few minutes later the NP came over and showed me my son for a moment and said he has to go to NICU, I sent Jamie with him. Then the wait began, they stapled me back together and moved me back to the room where my MIL was waiting, she had seen her grandson briefly as they had gone past but she had definitely heard him. It couldn't be that bad with the way he screamed could it?

I got prodded and poked and my Blood Pressure taken and I kept asking when I could hold my baby, the new nurse I got was really nice and called the NICU and had them move things so they could wheel me in the bed so I could see him. I was so focused on moving my feet as they had told me I had to move my feet to get to see him.

They wheeled me in and there he was on a little bed with a diaper under a clear space helmet. The NP explained that as he was born he had swallowed excessive amounts of fluid and even aggressive pumping hadn't worked yet. They were diagnosing him with asphyxia pneumonia.
He was on nutritional IV's and continual oxygen as the x-rays had shown a lot of fluid. They were also putting him on antibiotics to prevent possible infections. He looked so delicate and I was afraid to touch him even though they said I could. To be honest it was in my mind that this was my fault, after all I had chosen a home birth and was being told how bad a decision that was and how he would have died in birth if I had even considered trying it. Maybe this was the start of me being a bad mother. One of the nurses grabbed my hand and tried to make me touch my son, but I was scared I would hurt him.

I asked to leave the NICU, later my DH confessed he thought for a few moments I was rejecting my son and that the nursery nurses were scared of the same. I was then moved to another floor for recovery and I could hear all these babies crying, why did they get their baby and I couldn't have mine, what had I done that was so wrong? I focused on my feet and within 3 hours I walked to the wheelchair and had DH wheel me back to my son. I touched him and stroked his feet and back. All the tubes still scared me terribly. I visited every 2 hours waiting for some news of improvement.

The next day DH had to go back to work so we went before he left and the goal was that Xavier would be off the air hood that day. I specifically told them I needed to know straight away as I was told I could hold him at that point. I had to go back to the other floor for breakfast and rounds. The NICU nurse also told me to attend the CPR class in an hour as he had breathing issues and they would rather I was prepared.

The Dr came around, a different one than the day before and spent 5 minutes on his cell phone before asking me my pain level, which I told him the pain pills I had had earlier were doing there job. He didnt check my incision or anything or know I was on a liquid diet, he just said I can discharge you. Here I am less than 18 hours from surgery and he didn't check anything! I was furious. I went to my CPR class and came back. The nurse had told me she would check on me at 12 and give me more pain meds so I waited, by 11 I was hurting but I thought I can hold out an hour so I dont disturb them, by 1 I was hurting so bad I couldn't get out of bed and reach the call button, by 2 I was in tears and my MIL came in. She saw the pain I was in and grabbed a nurse ripping them a few new sets of holes, not only for the pain but the other fact that I had been told at 8am they were going to get me more water and they hadn't yet. After I was medicated and my MIL had had her say we asked to check on Xavier and were told he had been off his hood for almost 4 hours, I was fuming because I had asked to be told asap as I was told I could hold him at this point. My MIL wheeled me down to NICU where I asked to hold my son and was told NO, I explained what the NP had told me and a smart mouthed nurse said well I guess I will just put him back in the hood then. Another set of complaints, to which I got asked to let them do a couple of quick tests to check him first. At 8pm I got a call from the NICU asking if I wanted to give my son a bath, he was just over 28 hours old and I got to hold him for the first time. The next morning I asked again when I could feed my son as we wanted to breastfeed and was told that I could start that afternoon but if his blood sugar dipped they would start formula feeding him. I stood my ground and 2 days after my son was born I was holding him and feeding him in the nursery. The picture above is with him being 3 days old, as you can see no hood but still with an IV in his hand. Over the next 24 hours they weaned him off the IV nutrition checking his blood sugar hourly with me nursing and they was no need for him to be formula fed. We had some issues with nurses being mean to me even in front of DH and to be honest a horrible experience. At 9.30 am Sunday morning he was discharged and brought to my room and at 11am I was asked if I wanted to go home or have one more day...very quickly I asked to go home. We were all home safe and sound by 2pm that afternoon and that's when motherhood began.

Tribute to my Gran!

One of the reasons I haven't posted so much recently is that along with the birth of my son we have also had some loss. My Grandma passed away on the 28th of Feb, the death certificate says March 1st but that's more of a technicality.

Mary, my grandmother was 85 and was and always will be an idol. My grandfather Harold passed away 17 years ago, the day before my 13th birthday and he was more than my Grandfather, he was my best friend, my teacher, my mentor and my father, after all my biological father was worthless. My grandmother loved him dearly then and each day since, placing flowers on the church alter the Sunday of the week he died yearly, not even glancing towards another man, where I know a lot of women would move on to be happy a few years after, not my Gran though she stayed true to him always.

My brother was just a little over 1 at that time and she preserved with watching him as my Mum and Step-father worked (he is my dad for all intensive purposes). When I rebelled as a teenager she took me in and I lived with her until I got my own place, she taught me how to cook, bake and sew. She had to be pretty good as I can now make clothes that people think I bought. She taught me a lot about respect and love.

Once I moved from England to the United States I called her almost daily and some days we would talk for hours on end and others it was a quick check in. Soon she started to get sick and the doctors placed a shunt ready for dialysis should it get to that point and then in December of last year almost 4 years after the shunt was placed she started to not be able to shake colds and her limbs began to swell. Antibiotics were prescribed and the doctors came to her house, after all she was stubborn (wonder where I get this from). She canceled an appointment for her diabetes and kidney check because she was too ill to go and after that the doctor took some blood and she was admitted to hospital.

At the first hospital it was Gran as normal, complained that the food was horrid and that she was bored. Complained about the nurses, well she was 85 and getting a little grumpy. They found an issue with her heart skipping beats and basically it was more of a risk to attempt to fix it than to let it be. She was transferred to Manchester Hospital and had a round of dialysis. She made a huge recovery and was great for a couple of days and it began to slip again, she refused more dialysis as it was an uncomfortable procedure at this point and wanted to come home. It took a couple of weeks to make all the arrangements for her to come home, each day a little of my Gran disappeared, she forgot who my Mum was calling her Albert, imagined conversations that never happened and lost track of what day and time. She was giving up, not even wanting to watch Television, something she had done continually since my Gran dad had passed.

Finally each thing was in place, the hospital bed was in her front room at home, the caregivers had a schedule and my Mum had changed her work so she could fill her assignments at home and she came home on Wednesday. It was a stressful homecoming as the ambulance crew struggled to get her in her home and threatened to take her back to the hospital but with endurance and trials it was accomplished.

Grandma refused to believe she was at home, it didn't help that she was still in a hospital bed and had gone from pottering around the house, although with the help of a cane to bedridden in the 6 weeks in hospital. It also didn't help that the caregivers wore nurses uniforms. Grandma still wouldnt watch TV and my Mum struggled to get her to eat a spoonful of yogurt, although staying very British she managed her cups of tea.

I managed to speak to her once on the phone when she came home from the hospital and it wasn't the same person I had grown up around and as my Mum said at least she got my name right. Mum spent 24 hours a day by her side even through her arguments with people who weren't even there.

Sunday night the caregivers came and helped her be ready for sleep that night and an hour later my Mum realized she wasn't moving and found that my grandma has passed peacefully and quietly without a word. It took the Dr. till just after midnight to get there and call time of death and the police coroner a few hours longer. I received the news as the Dr left as my Mum didn't want to call me and be wrong about it.

I spoke to my Mum daily throughout my grans hospital stay with the exception of the 4 days I was in hospital having my son and still speak daily to her, still resolving each piece.

My mum wouldn't let me fly home for the funeral, its not my strong point I fell apart at the last funeral. I knew it was coming, I know it was for the best and it has ended the suffering and now she can be with my Gran dad again, the love of her life.

In our discussions, Mum thinks that she was waiting for the birth of her great - grandson as that was her constant concern and that once she heard from me and knew everything was ok she let go.

RIP Grandma, we miss you

How time flys

So it has been a long time since my last post, seriously 4 months and I can remember posting that. Now I must get better at this after all, in a way I am providing a history for the kids (well Xavier at this point).

Over the next couple of days I am going to catch up on everything that happened over the last, ahem, couple of months and that way I have got it all out of my system.

Right now Xavier is sleeping on the couch, I haven't tried him in his crib yet, he said no to his bassinet after 2 sleeps so he has been sleeping with me on the couch. The bed doesnt have enough room for me, dh, ds, and the girls(doggies), we have a king size on layaway its just getting the money to finally get it paid off. Honestly we didn't start out wanting to co-sleep it has ended up that way though. After all I would rather get 3 hours of sleep than 2 so it made it work. The big plus is the night before last he slept all the way through, not last night though.